The end of the year is quickly approaching, and with it comes the onslaught of forced cheer and festive anxiety. Of course, I’m talking about the holidays, those celebratory observances that everyone looks forward to…unless, of course, you’re an introvert.
Such events are welcomed with open arms in the houses of many. But, to those reluctant revelers (of which, I am one!), this time of year can be painful with its requirements for non-stop merriment and awkward socialization. So, how do introverts make it through? If you’ve ever wondered about your favorite wallflower, here are some tactics for their holiday survival.
First – What is an Introvert?
For those who aren’t sure what it means to be an introvert, our primary descriptors are the words “quiet” and “shy.” We tend to prefer solitary endeavors to the company of others and our need for alone time is very real. We also find ourselves losing energy when forced into small talk or thrust into the limelight.
Even though it is estimated that roughly half of the population falls into this category, society’s expectations for extroversion can cause constant pockets of discomfort at every turn. As a result, the holiday season (to an introvert) often feels like the most horrible time of the year.
But Wait, There’s More!
Another thing that makes this season so dreaded – aside from Aunt So-And-So always trying to summon us out of our shell – is the sense of excess. The entire period is a never-ending deluge of MORE MORE MORE, so much so that a person can hardly catch their breath in between the marathon of good tidings.
Since introverts typically need time to process information and space to organize their thoughts, this sort of sensory overload can be taxing. Even though we do our best to suck it up and cope with the two months of eggnog keggers and gift swap bonanzas into which we are unwillingly thrust, it doesn’t take long until we have reached our fill. Even though we really do like people and enjoy activities, there is a limit to what we can endure…especially when it falls outside of the reasonably spaced intervals we’re used to.
Joyful, Joyful We Ignore Thee
Speaking from experience, it’s not that we introverts don’t enjoy a plate of turkey with all the trimmings or holiday songs turned up to 11. However, our ideal celebration might involve pushing the copious crowds and gut-churning chit chat to the side, along with that unappetizing blob of gelatinous cranberries.
Seeking to be away from the hubbub at all costs, it is normal for us to crave the low-key and small-scale version of everything. At gatherings, we are commonly known for sticking with one person the entire night or getting lost in the shuffle. Because we so often melt into the landscape, it’s very possible you may not even know we were at a party (unless you have pictures to prove it).
Holidays as an Introvert are Sometimes Bah Humbug
Although it sounds like introverts share a lot in common with Ebenezer Scrooge or the Grinch, we are actually quite sensitive and sensible people. Preferring quality to quantity and order over chaos, all most introverts want are a few meaningful traditions and manageable events.
For this reason, we would still like to be invited to an intimate dinner party or a scaled back family excursion. But also, should we need it, we hope for the sort of grace and flexibility that would allow us to cancel plans at a moment’s notice. After all, when we’re feeling overwhelmed, there’s little that would make us happier than a no-fuss day spent in pajamas.
It’s Okay to Say No
Upholding traditions and carving out time for family is important. But equally so is remembering that “NO” is always an option – for this season or any other. It’s not rude to advocate for one’s own needs. It’s okay to scale back and allow those who feel uncomfortable to opt out of the practices that no longer align with their sense of peace.
At the end of the day, when we ask ourselves what we want from the holidays, it’s fine to be truthful and admit that we’re not all the same. For many, joy can come from attending those big parties and grand gatherings. But, for introverts – those who attain comfort and joy from silence and solitude – happiness can be found by ignoring those things entirely and setting one’s sights on January 2nd. That’s National Introvert’s Day, to those who don’t know. And, unlike the other holidays, there will be nothing more planned than the chance to finally catch one’s breath and utter a sigh of relief. Solo. And possibly even in pajamas.
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