I grew up in a small town in Texas named Beeville {population around 13K}. My parents worked full-time jobs and us siblings were OKAY kids. Growing up, I was what you would consider a ‘tomboy.’ Traditional beauty standards were not important to me. I hated wearing dresses, fixing my hair, wearing makeup, etc and to be honest, I was a chubby kid. I loved sports {mainly football and baseball} and I hung out with boys because girls wanted to play with dolls and I just was not interested in that. My mom was great. I remember having ‘the talk’ with her at a young age about becoming a young woman and what they entailed. I had my first boyfriend in the seventh grade, with my first serious relationship being my freshmen year of high school.
Fast forward to the present; I am happily married to my high school sweetheart {my boyfriend from my freshmen year}. We have four beautiful children; two boys and two girls. I often post about them on my social media platforms and while I was scrolling through my photos from this last year, I came across this one…
This beautiful little girl is my daughter, AB. She is six years old. My caption for this picture said this::
“So, I’ve been allowing the kids to dress themselves each day (hello, letting go of my control issues) and this is what AB decided to wear today. No, we are not going anywhere. It’s just a casual day at home, but she wants to dress up, so there you go.”
A good friend of ours {an older, wise woman} posted this comment:: “She’s a girl who understands dressing for the day and being prepared for what it brings. Also a lover of beauty.”
That comment took me back to my younger, college-aged self where I was under the guidance of some very smart and humble women. These ladies helped shape me into the person I am today. Their example of what and how a woman ought to act was almost pure perfection…. except for one thing. I remember one of the women saying that a woman {and wife} ought to adorn herself and prepare herself for her husband each and every day. On top of that, she ought to be prepared for whatever the day brings {like the comment posted above, about my daughter}.
Now remember, I was not brought up like any other girl. I didn’t have someone show me how to do my hair or how to put on make-up and I certainly did not like anything ‘girly’ in terms of clothes. Here I was… age 19 and my world was spinning because of this idea that I needed to look a certain way when, in reality, I was not at all ‘that type of girl.’ I had someone take me shopping for dresses, and yes, even though I looked very pretty, I was never comfortable. While I knew then that those women’s intentions were good, I was not comfortable, and with my insecurities, my sense of self-image was low. I understood the importance of displaying physical beauty towards my husband, because we are physically attracted to our spouses; however, at the time, it was something I really struggled with. {That’s a post for another day}.
I promised myself that my girls would have a different life. That they would grow up knowing that their worth was not in worldly riches, their physical appearances, or in the affections of a man. We, my husband and I, knew that we wanted our daughters to feel love, but most importantly, to know what love really is. Of course we all feel love, towards one another or something {an object}. My idea of love is a call to action. I see beauty in how someone loves others and how they display that love. Beauty flowing from a humble heart and a soul that pours out hospitality and service towards others.
You see, the teen version of myself didn’t know better, but the adult version does. We {women} always find ourselves apologizing for our appearance {or lack thereof}. I am here to tell you TO STOP! Whether you are rocking your best outfit for the day or sporting workout clothes {in hopes you actually get to workout}, stop apologizing! Is your makeup on point today? Good for you! Did you decide to rock the all natural look? Perfect! My hope is that you realize that it doesn’t matter how you look. How do you treat people, because in my eyes, if you spread love and hospitality wherever you go, girl, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
