I have been married now for 13.5 years and in that time I have learned a few things. And yes, I want FULL credit for that .5 because six months is still a long time to stay married. I am not even close to a marriage expert, as my friends will fall over laughing to agree with. But there is ONE thing I want every person in a committed relationship to know – it is {almost} always work.
What is, Kinsey? When your spouse seems, out of nowhere, to have odd behavior. For my husband, when he gets busy at work he gets REALLY focused on micro-managing the house. He will deny this if asked, by the way. But it is so true. He will start asking 15,000 questions about when, where, why and how the boys and I are doing anything. For a while, early on in our marriage I though it was about ME. Ummmm, negative. It is always work.
Other friends I know swear they can tell how busy their partners are at work by how focused they are on the family budget. One friend said that her husband will start going through the Target purchases with a fine tooth comb {I mean, is that even possible?}
Another mom I know said her husband will throw himself into the yard. And the yard is not that big. Again, not the norm and yes, all about work.
One husband was asking tons of questions about logistics that he a) didn’t need to know and b) really didn’t care about. I asked my friend if her husband was stressed at work? Her eyes popped open as she said, “YES”. Girl, it is always work.
Which totally begs the question, if it is WORK, that would mean they are busy at work and WHY are they so focused on us? Ladies, I have asked that question and my guess it it is something they can control. Any workplace is highly unpredictable and you often are out of control of like 95% of the things you do. But with your family, you can be 100% focused on your littlest son drinking enough milk or your oldest son’s multiplication facts. We are all trying to control things in our lives and in my expert opinion {I am an expert in nothing, PS} that is the root of it all.
Now, this is clearly super simplifying things and sometimes it is not. Sometimes there are other things going on in a relationship. Like when one spouse backs into the basketball hoop and smashes the other spouse’s windshield. That was not about work.
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