Hello, nice to meet you. I’m the mom who is not throwing her son a birthday party this year.
There, I said it. It’s not happening.
Will we have cake? Yep {specifically with A LOT of sprinkles.} Will there be balloons? A whole room full, most likely. Will we sing “Happy Birthday”? No less that 10 times if I had to guess.
But, there is no party.
There are no guests.
See, here’s the deal. His 1st birthday was a small “party” with only immediate family. It was sweet. There were approximately 6 balloons. I’ll admit, the pictures of him busting out of his “one year old” onesie are adorable. His 2nd? I don’t even remember. Hmmm…cupcakes, there were cupcakes! Year 3, more cupcakes and a couple of cousins that happened to be visiting us at that time.
My son is turning 4 and though we have been to our fair share of birthday parties, it’s not in the cards for us this year. I’m overjoyed at our decision to do what is best for our family and not what is best for other people.
And so, before I sound like the Grinch of birthdays, allow me to explain my rationale.
Love Language
The thing is…he doesn’t love big parties. He gets overwhelmed and anxious and does not usually have a ton of fun. He usually spends his time next to me or asking his dad to play with him. More than once, we’ve found him in the birthday kid’s room reading books by himself. Maybe one day this will change, but at this point, we see no reason to force something on him where the pressure is overwhelming to him to be “on” for several hours.
His love language is quality time. Anyone who knows him, knows this to be true. He adores days when we do simple things and spend time together. He would pick hanging out with mom and dad over just about anything else {except maybe snacks.} Last year we decided to have a full blown day dedicated to the three of us spending the entire day together doing the things he loves. Some call it a “yes day“, we’ll call it a birthday in our house.
A day dedicated to our favorite kid.
Money Matters.
Decorations. Food. Cake. Activities. PARTY FAVORS?! I had no idea that party favors were even a thing. I didn’t know there was a gift involved for every child that attended on top of any activity, event, food, petting zoo, bounce house, etc. that we are supposed to provide. We are already buying presents and spending money to make his day special, I just cant justify the cost of *literally* throwing money into something that may or may not be a fun time for the birthday boy.
I’ve been to a fair share of birthday parties where said birthday kid is experiencing a steady stream of meltdowns during the event. the sheer amount of money on top of all of the other things we would rather give him seems a bit over the top for our family. Personally, our money is better spent on a day dedicated to the activities that will fill his cup.
Pressure to Perform
The amount of details and planning that go into birthday parties is just not where my energy is best spent. The level of energy to plan and perform each year makes me cringe. Each year is expected to be better and bigger than the last. I don’t want my child to feel like gifts are something he should expect from anyone we know just because they were invited to his party. I’ve seen a neighbor do a “no gift” party and I thought it was genius. Except people STILL BROUGHT GIFTS. *facepalm*
Can’t we all agree that our kids have far more than they need? My child included. I’m not going to turn down when close friends or family buy him birthday presents, but we don’t need one more single toy in this house. Obviously, I know we will purchase our own gifts for him, but all the extra stuff is not necessary.
None of it is, really.
Looking ahead.
Am I suggesting birthday parties are all bad? Negative. I’m also not saying we will never throw him a birthday party. Just not this year. Not yet.
Surely I’m not the only one.
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Agree with you. This year was not the year for birthday parties. My 5 and 8 year old requested a vacation for their summer birthdays. We took a weekend trip to Six Flags and spent about the same amount of money we would have on two birthday parties. It was stress free and fun for all of us.