10 Times When Being a Single Mom Just Plain Old Sucks

There are things about being a single mom that I absolutely love.  But let’s be honest…  There are times when it just plain old sucks too.  And while I know that every single mom’s list might look a little bit different, here are my top ten moments in order of rank.

#10 :: When the kiddo is up all night … and you’ve got work early the next morning.

There’s no one to tag in or alternate shifts.  That’s all you.  This has only happened twice in two years.  Otherwise, it would be higher on the list.  It’s brutal.

#9 :: When you run into people who knew your parents.

If I had a dollar for every time someone referred to me as “the one who had the baby,” I’d be a wealthy woman.  It’s like if you grow up in a good family and a small town and have a baby out of wedlock … all the good stuff is out the window.  Why can’t I be “the one who writes a blog?” or “the one who works with women recovering from alcohol and substance abuse?”  At least if I was married I could be “So-And-So’s wife who had the baby.” {Please denote sarcasm. Lots of it.}

#8 :: When all the cute graphic tees for little boys say some variation of “handsome like dad.”

Why don’t some of these shirts say “strong like mommy,” which would be much more accurate?

#7 :: When you get invited to a play date with your married friends and their children.

Who knew you could be a third wheel even when there’s more than three people involved?  It’s always hard for me to focus during these play dates because I’m usually too fascinated just watching the dynamics of two-parent families

#6 :: When the babysitter falls through on a night that you have a late meeting or work obligation.

So you lift your head, give yourself {and your son} a pep talk, and walk proudly into the meeting with coloring books, actions figures, and an iPad fully loaded with kid-friendly apps in tow.  But somewhere deep down you wish there was a husband or a co-parent or a fairy god mother to call upon in times like these.

#5 :: When you have a speaking engagement and there’s no one in the audience to watch your child, so he has to come on stage with you.

Yep! That actually happened. Twice.  It’s like my child was paying me no attention at all, but as soon as they introduced me to come on stage, he flipped out and couldn’t be comforted by any of the loving women who tried to help me out.  So he ended up standing there, like a tiny body guard, holding my hand.

#4 :: When you get invited to a last minute happy hour or sporting event after work.

When this happens there’s a strange chain of thoughts that takes you, rather quickly, from thinking of family members who might be available to pick the kiddo up from school to questioning what kind of mother dumps their child to go to happy hour or a baseball game anyway?  And so you just politely decline and head to the school pick up line.

#3 :: When your son is all boy and wants to be outside riding his bike or tossing a softball every evening, but you’re not about that outdoor life.

But you do it anyway … for the kiddo.  And you’re not the only parent on your street pitching balls or pushing little bikes, but you ARE the only mom.  That’s always a weird feeling.

#2 :: When the kid has to go pee in the middle of an activity.

This is one of the biggest annoyances of my life. It seems to happen everywhere now that Malachi is potty-trained.  At Chick-fil-A right after we’ve gotten our food, at Wal-Mart as soon as the cashier starts ringing my groceries, as soon as the church is quiet and the Pastor is about to preach. Basically, whenever it is absolutely most inconvenient, my son has to pee or poop.

#1 :: When Donuts with Dad creeps up on the school calendar.

I don’t think it’s any secret that this is pretty much the most dreaded day of the school year for most single moms who don’t have the consistent support of a co-parent.  I seriously considered exercising my rights to peacefully protest by keeping Malachi home from school and binge watching Thomas the Train all day. Muffins with Mom makes total sense, but they’re going too far with this Donuts with Dad business. {Wink.} But seriously, I think it’s awesome for dads to come have breakfast with their kiddos. I’m just saying it’s hard on me as a mom because it’s one of the few things that I simply cannot do in his dad’s stead.

There are so many things that I love about being a mom to my sweet boy – from his fun-loving personality to his loving hugs, I wouldn’t trade this role for anything else. Even the suckiest of moments are all worth it.

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Vinicia W
Vinicia “Vi” is originally from Livingston, a small but awesome little town in East Texas, but she has recently relocated to Houston. With a Bachelor’s Degree in English from Sam Houston State University, Vi works with women who are recovering from alcohol and drug addiction - and absolutely loves her job. Vi plans to dedicate her life’s work to empowering women and moms to live their best lives despite whatever obstacles they may face. Vi is the proud momma to her son Malachi {June 2013} who was born deaf but wears cochlear implants. In her free time {which is rare!}, Vi writes and performs original poetry, jams out to every genre of music imaginable, and spends as much time as possible making lasting memories with her kiddo. She believes in authenticity, transparency, and honesty. Read more about the craziness that is her life at viverseslife.com.


  1. Bayou City Fellowship in Cypress hosts an amazing event for single mom’s and their children called,Overflow. This year it is from June 16-June 17. We’d love to love on you single mommies! There are other events the Overflow mission hosts through the year that are great opportunities to connect with other families in similar situations and receive love and support from a Christian community as well. BCF also has a campus in Spring Branch if you’re looking for a church home!

  2. You rock! You should add that you’re a single mom w/ very little support too. You’re child will be such a strong person because he has you as a role model.

  3. You are doing an awesome job! Reading posts like this when I am at my wit’s end about my own life as a single Mommy to a little boy gives me such encouragement. Keep on being fantastic!


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