Dear Men: You Need to Calm Down

Alternatively this could be titled “Your Toxic Masculinity is Showing”. Like millions of others, I tuned into the Chiefs vs Bills playoff division game on Sunday night. As a Taylor fan, was I delighted to see that she was in the house? Well, of course! Equally pleased to see an exuberant and often shirtless Jason Kelce, clearly enjoying the benefits of his retirement.

woman doing heart sign with her hands

But what I also saw as I perused my social media accounts were grown men just LIVID that Taylor was getting screentime. It’s been like this much of the season but this felt very next level. And the more posts I saw with other men chiming in, well, the more pissed off I became.

Hey, guys? Did it hurt?

When we ruined your good ole boys club?

I have so many thoughts. Namely, the NFL has ALWAYS been about money. So why is it so surprising that the organization would take advantage of new found notoriety because the biggest pop star in the world was in the building? And all of you NFL lovers – you’re getting more eyeballs on the game now, across the board. Calm down and explain to me how this is bad.

I’ve also seen story upon story upon story about dads taking their teen girls to freezing games because now they watch the NFL. Or sitting side by side on the couch for hours watching the games. Making memories. Core ones even.

I can only imagine the heads that exploded when Kelce scored in the 2nd quarter and made Taylor’s signature heart in the direction of their suite. Mine? It exploded with joy. Theirs? Probably with a “What the f*cK” and side commentary of “Man, is he whipped!”

If I was a guessing person, on some level, these men are completely intimidated by these displays of affection. Seeing it as a sign of weakness. You know they blamed Chief’s losses on his relationship with Taylor, right? Saying he needed to get his head in the game? So now women and love have the POWER TO RUIN A SCORE OF A GAME THAT IS PLAYED WITH 52 OTHER MEN THROWING AROUND A BALL MADE OF PIGSKIN? MMMMKKKKKK. That’s what we call failed logic, friends. You need to calm down.

And if I took my guessing a bit further, I’d also surmise that they don’t love having their precious bro club overshadowed by a really powerful woman. That must feel so foreign to them. And THAT, my friends, is what we call Toxic Masculinity. Your game is not less because of pans to Taylor or mentions throughout broadcasts. Some may argue that it’s even more fun now. {I’m arguing that by the way.} Whether they recognize it or not, some of these guys find it inherently uncomfortable for a woman to bring hype and excitement to their stage. So they lash out and demean her.It’s not a good look.

Listen, I get that not everyone is a fan of her songs. I do. Calm down: no one is making you stream them, though MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS ARE. You don’t have to love her. But gosh dammit, there should be a level of respect there.

I’ll take it one step further. Obviously, as public as they are, I’m sure that Travis and Taylor have their own relationship secrets they keep to themselves. But there is something so freaking incredibly refreshing about two people, obviously in love, both at the top of their respective games freaking SHOWING UP for each other, in big ways and small. Travis flying hours down south to watch her perform. Taylor showing up at so many games this season. They are literally doing what we should all do in our relationships, 50/50 and love each other through it and yes, CHEER each other on, stadium or venue be damned. Changing lyrics, throwing hearts after TD’s, allllll of it.

And if it makes you uncomfortable to see a man express his love in such public ways, well, I don’t know how to help you except maybe encourage you to calm down, grab a journal and jot down a note or two to tell your significant other that you are proud of them. That you see them. That you are their biggest cheerleader. That’s not being “pussy-whipped”; that’s a man functioning in a healthy and dynamic way instead of projecting emotional illiteracy in a really immature way.

You know who is not worried about showing his love to millions, so you probably shouldn’t be?

Travis Kelce.

All of “this” Taylor/Travis circus seems like a really positive turn for the NFL in general and if you’re personally offended by a celebrity appearance {and one who by most or all accounts is a pretty cool human} then, hmmmm. That very much seems like a you problem.

I personally am here for it. Less half naked men drinking beer camera pans, UNLESS it’s Jason Kelce because that shit was just funny.

So let’s just have y’all calm down a bit. Everything passes in time and this has been really non-toxic addition to our nation’s sport, which can’t always be said as it relates to the NFL. Cheer on your team and I’ll be over here cheering for Paper Rings.

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Meagan Clanahan
Meagan is a Dallas native who has lived in the Katy area for over a decade. She kicked a soccer ball all the way to Louisiana to attend college at her family’s alma mater of LSU, where she promptly fell in love with a Texas Aggie in Baton Rouge for an internship. After swimming back to Texas following Hurricane Katrina, Matt and Meagan fell in love with the Houston area and now couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. Following several years of infertility, their miracle twins Ryan and Quinn were born in June of 2010. She believes there is nothing better than a chilled glass of Pinot Grigio, a large Sonic Diet Coke, sushi take-out, Girls Nights Out, and a mindless book to curl up with. Besides playing chauffeur and catering to the whims of her children, Meagan also is the Co-Owner of Houston Moms Blog. You can keep up with Meagan at The Clanahan Fam and on Instagram @meaganclanahan!



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