DISCLAIMER :: I AM NOT PREGNANT!!!!!
Okay, now that that’s out of the way…
When 25 year old Sarah would close her eyes and look into the future, there were lots of kids in it. I’m not sure exactly what lots was, but it felt like more than 2. I grew up with two younger brothers, and I liked having a gang of kids in my family. As I get older I realize what an even greater gift it is to have adult siblings. While I’d love to fill up a whole Thanksgiving table – life, fertility, money, life, age, and life have my husband and I on the edge of contemplating the addition of a third baby, a caboose on this train. I say contemplating, but I really mean, making the “when to go for it” decision.
I will admit sometimes I think I’m crazy, CRAZY. My life is full in many ways, including the fact that every single second of my week is packed to the brim. How in the heck am I going to add a baby? I already get frustrated when my kids are moving too slow, or they’ve torn the living room apart for the 3rd time in an afternoon, or there is NEVER a clean sippy cup even though the dishwasher runs nightly. Does a third epidural contain a dose of patience?
Other people also think I’m crazy, and they have NO problem telling me about it when this conversation comes up or someone inquires on their own about my family planning. I am the “lucky” mother of a girl/boy combo, which unbeknownst to me is akin to hitting life’s lottery. Going into this mothering game, I could have cared less what sex my children were – I was just looking for healthy and happy. I didn’t realize that once you got one of each, your baby making days were over!
I’m also scared. What if I can’t give 3 kids what I can give 2 kids? What if I’m broke forever, tack on another 5 years of childcare! And not to mention my house is too small!
You know these crazy and scared feelings always seem to fade though, when I hear a pregnancy announcement, smell a newborn head, or talk to a dear friend about future planning. These are the moments when I know I want another baby, and I’m not sure how much longer I can wait. I’ll just spend my pregnancy collecting pep talks. So…just do it, right? Take the leap!?! What made you jump?