The Good, the Bad, the What the Heck :: What Yo’ Mama Didn’t Tell You About Aging

Maybe I was oblivious. Maybe I noticed things about my mother changing through the years, but was cloaked in a shroud of youth and naïveté. Regardless, I don’t recall any conversations being had about the physical, emotional, and mental progression my body would be making while aging through the different stages of life. No one handed me a What to Expect When Your Body Betrays You book as a reference guide. Needless to say, the shroud of youth has dissipated like the fog when the morning sun arises. In a desperate attempt to cling to my youth, I will now describe my new perception with the young kids lingo…..I am woke. {{Full disclosure:: I just read this intro outload while my 3 year old was playing nearby. He said, “You not woke, you Mama!” Yep kid, thanks for that. Coolness status confirmed.}}

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad. Aging is not solely filled with horror stories of things sagging and parts not working. Aging also comes with some beautiful perspective and fun surprises. These nuggets also didn’t make the Mother/Daughter chat list. But, the sweetness I have discovered as I age plays a nice balancing act with other crazy things going on. Well played God, well played. So, join me in my woke state and buckle up buttercup.

Peek-a-boob.

This is a new game. Not nearly as cute as playing peek-a-boo with your sweet little one. In fact, you can probably throw some side eye to that little cutie because you are now a player in the game of peek-a-boob, partially due to them. Pregnancy, breastfeeding, and just a general loss of elasticity are all the factors you need to be an expert level player. If you have acquired the aforementioned requirements then you know what I speak of. Bra comes off, boobs they go a hiding. While laying on your back {{now this is an advanced player move}} I dare someone to find your girls. They are straight up in your armpits. Just roll to your side, and PEEK-A-BOOB! But on a positive note, in my case, those boobs sustained someone’s life. So, even if I have to search a little for them, I wear them with pride! 

Poise

This word is no longer used to describe your demeanor. Nope. This word is actually the name of one of your new best friends. This best friend is going to provide you with more support than any one of your gal pals. Poise pads people. I’m talking about pads. Let’s talk pelvic floor awareness. Funny enough that awareness is in the name because no one made me aware of how important it was.

Spoiler:: having a weak pelvic floor doesn’t just mean you tinkle with no effort at all, it also means you are a tooting machine. But, let’s focus on the pee part. Cough…pee. Laugh hard…pee. Jump on trampoline…Niagara falls effect. It appears me and my girlfriends are more in the panty liner years, but we have all seen the cargo our Moms travel with now when they visit {{sorry Mom}}! So, my best advice, Google pelvic floor awareness and thank me later. There are things you can do.

Wrinkles or marks of distinction?

Now, when that first crow marched across my face I was a little disturbed. I bought my weight in eye creams and anti-aging moisturizers. That budget once deployed on cocktails or shoes was directed to all the products. Operation freeze time and my face commenced. I learned a few things in the process. One, it is actually thrilling to find products that work and that you love! Who cares about expensive shoes when you find miracle products like LilyAna Retinol Cream. I hoard this product and feel compelled to share it with the world. When it goes on sale I stock up like it is batteries for hurricane season. Two, if it disturbs you that much:: Botox. Three, I have transitioned, for the most part, into appreciating those wrinkles. They show the laughs I have had, the worry that I was able to overcome, and reminds me I have lived and earned those babies!

Aging and caring exponentially less of what other people think.

Since it is summer, let’s dive straight into wearing swim suits. In my 20s I was constantly worried about how other people were critiquing my look. Was I covered up enough? Did the top provide enough boob support? Was everything smooth as a babies bottom? Now let me be clear on that last concern, I still very much care if some areas are pool ready {{if you know what I mean}}. Let’s just say some beauty habits should stand the test of time.  But if you have yet to ascend to the glorious level of not giving a crap what other people think, hold on sister, it is coming. It was not until this year, my 34th year of life, that I am wearing a suit that isn’t covered in 5 layers. My typical suit was swim shorts with a sports bra covered with a tank top. I exposed as little of my actual skin as possible. What I wore could pass as gym attire. But, something switched in my brain this year. I am wearing an actual suit and I feel good about it.

What reality you need to know is if you are with kids at the pool and surrounded by other Mamas, NO one is looking at what you are wearing. We are all busy wrangling our children. If I am alone {{kid free}} at the pool, then I am officially in zombie mode. There could be 500 people there, but I am not concerned with a single one. I am basking in the ambiance of relaxation. I have no time to judge or care if you or anyone else is looking at me. So, wear the suit. Forget that other people are around.

This is a beautiful aspect of aging:: PERSPECTIVE! Embrace it! By posting the pictures below I am showing you I am owning this stage of life now in a way that would make 20 year old me shudder. Kindly ignore the tags still on my black suit! For the first time in forever, I was so excited to actually try this bad boy on that there was no time for tag removing! Wait, what am I doing? Who cares? Look at my tag and then look at that 34 year old thigh behind it! While my suit may have only cost $27.99, my confidence is now priceless. 

So, there are some things about getting older that suck. They just do. But, talk about those things with your people. Find your community and have solidarity! There is no better medicine than to be able to laugh as you relate. They might have stories and tips to share so you won’t be caught off guard when life doles out your serving. In that community you will also find there are many beautiful things that come with aging as well. We are all going in the same direction, might as well laugh as we head that way! 

::What do you wish someone would have told you about aging? Share your wisdom of aging in the comments ::