It is holiday season in Texas, (despite what the weather might suggest). Starbucks is pumping out Pumpkin Spice Lattes and letters to Santa are hitting the mailboxes. Holidays are a stressful time for moms. In addition to our normal work and family responsibilities, we take on a large amount of invisible labor around the holidays. The behind-the-scenes work of gift shopping, meal prepping, decorating, hosting, and scheduling becomes a large mental burden. Here are a few simple ways to support your mental health through the holidays this season:
1. Evaluate your expectations. Whether we realize it or not, most of us have high hopes for the holiday season. Take some time to write out what you want this year. Be honest. Is it for your family to get along? For all your gifts to be a hit? Which goals are even possible? Everyone getting along is about as likely as a snowy Christmas in Houston.
2. Choose one realistic, specific goal for the holiday. As much as we all long for our lives to be as peaceful as a Hallmark Christmas movie, many of our experiences align more closely with a WWE Wrestling Match (or this hilarious SNL Skit about the “Best Christmas Ever”). Your goal should be simple, specific, and achievable. Let go of your expectations for a perfect holiday and focus on what matters most to you.
3. Make your “invisible labor” visible. Write out your to-do list and discuss it with your family. Invite everyone to give input. What tasks are most important? What can be eliminated? Your kids might remind you that while homemade cookies are great, HEB Two-Bite Brownies work just as well for less time and effort. Once everyone agrees on the list, divide up the work evenly. Many hands make the work light.
4. Remember your boundaries / prepare for your triggers. Does talking with Uncle Danny about politics send you into a tailspin? Covertly ask to be seated at a different table or let him know you will not discuss the election results.
5. Set aside space to process and rest. To care for your mental health through the holidays, schedule downtime between events. You aren’t the Energizer Bunny. Even good memories need time to steep. Write rest breaks on your calendar, so you won’t be tempted to fill the space with other events.
6. Check-in with your community. Schedule an appointment with your therapist or a phone call with your bestie. Your family needs you to take care of yourself. Modeling good mental health is a critical piece of parenting and partnership.
7. Remember, this too shall pass. For better or for worse, January will arrive right on schedule. You can do this!
What tips do you have to care for your mental health through the holidays?
