REAL New Year’s Resolutions for REAL Moms

It’s 2018. Time for some big life changes around here. 

  1. Cereal is out. Pop Tarts are in. No more spoon feeding breakfast to a 5 year old
  2. Join Reese Witherspoon’s book club. Success measured if any month’s books are actually procured. {Note :: There’s no mention of actually reading the books.}
  3. Participate in Dry January … except for on weekends, anytime my partner works late or travels, and any days my children have cabin fever.
  4. There won’t be a forgotten school project, hair appointment, or soccer game because I’m going to write it all down in my brand new shiny planner. {This is a LIE to justify purchase of said planner.}
  5. Before planner gets trashed, pencil in Holiday Minis in October so perfectly posed cards can be sent out to 250 of your closest friends by December 1st. 
  6. Limit screen time.  Just kidding.  Continue to allow my child to call his ipad “Mom.” 
  7. Sign up for Orange Theory free trial class. Get stuck in the Starbucks drive-thru and miss the class. Add whip cream to Grande Creme Brulee Latte. 
  8. Watch this season of The Bachelor without reading the spoilers before the Finale. Big, important goals. 
  9. Self care that doesn’t include wine, dammit.  
  10. Fold clothes as soon as the dryer buzzes. LMAO. NEVER!
  11. Something witty about budgeting my #targetruns. It’s not worth expending the effort for a lie this big. 
  12. Schedule a No Spend Month. {Obviously excluding Amazon Prime purchases and being careful to avoid Nordstrom’s semi-annual sale dates because #blardigans.}
  13. Set my alarm for 5am so I can have a daily devotional before the kids wake up. Yes, I realize this has failure written all over it.
  14. Lace up my tennis shoes, pull my hair back, and drink my coffee hot at least 3 times a week. 
  15. Meal planning is completed AND honored every damn week. {Spit hot coffee out.}
  16. Take watercolor, calligraphy, and cake decorating class all for the ‘gram. At the same time, continue to move house clutter around to create crisp and clean backgrounds for all shared pictures. 
  17. Whole 30? Whole 365! 

What are your real mom resolutions this year?


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