It was September 11th, 2001, and I was in my second year of teaching sophomore English. While Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Pit and the Pendulum” was being read aloud to my students, my co-teacher slowly leaned it to whisper that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center. We didn’t know the extent of what was to come, we just knew our job then was to keep going and protect our students.
Twenty-three years later, we are still in that protect mode. Our world is different. Our safety is still at risk. The “kids” in my class that year have kids of their own; just like I do now. We tell them stories about that day – where we were, how we reacted. How the life we knew before was forever changed.
The counselor in me thinks hard about the “right” conversations to have with my own kids about 9/11. Counselor me believes in being real, not sugar-coating what that day was like and not ignoring their questions about terrorism and/or our country’s safety. I also feel – just like with grief in any circumstance – we owe it to those lost and their loved ones to honor them with that honesty.
As we remember, we can let our kids lead the way on what they want to watch or read about 9/11. We can also model behavior on knowing when enough is enough. Watching hours upon hours of television footage can be taxing for anyone – so we can show them that it’s okay to honor this day and these people by turning off the footage and finding other ways to remember.
As I write this, my teenager comes in to chat about life in general. He shares quite a bit with me, and I love it. Our conversations about all the things is open, so as you talk about 9/11 with your kids – at any age – know their temperament. What can they handle? How will they walk away from your conversation this event? Be there to talk to them, but let them lead the way.
Emotions will be heightened on 9/11/24 just as they have been since the attacks. Everyone will remember when they learned what was happening – the fear and the unknown. I came to my parent’s house that day and watched it all unfold with my dad not knowing just three months later, I would lose him and feel my own grief. We all have ties to this day, to memories that will come, to that fear that shows itself again on the anniversaries.
And while we talk to each other or to our kids, the counselor in me also says to give ourselves grace. There is not one right way to commemorate 9/11. So, if the footage is too much or the questions are so hard – take a breath, walk away, and remember grace.
Remember it all how you see fit. This day 23 years ago took so much. I pray we all – no matter where we were – take care of ourselves as we honor all that was lost. I also pray for our world, our children, and our hearts just as we did on September 11, 2001.
As always, and beautiful written article. Nice job, Kim.