The Consequences of Pregnancy: The Duality of Motherhood

It’s been a while, this whole ‘consequences of pregnancy’ experience. I side-stepped to be more introspective on how to better handle personal challenges. Naturally, this introspection took me back to my relationship with being a mom.

My kids and I are sitting in the living room while they watch cartoons. I look up and see it’s time to get ready for my appointment. I head to my bedroom, children-free, to get dressed. Moments later, I hear the yells of ‘Mooooomy, Moooomy’ ricocheting off the walls. The yells continue and gets closer. I slink to the bathroom, hoping the absence of my immediate appearance will discourage further pursuit. No such luck. My daughter in hot pursuit, easily discovers me in the bathroom and immediately starts talking about the necklace she saw on the table.

You see the necklace was ‘missing’. She asked how I found the necklace, {at least she knows without asking that I’m the one who found it}. I ruefully answer her question, privately annoyed that I couldn’t have ten minutes to myself to get dressed.  She hops away, her face exuding delight and joy, happy that’s she’s reunited with the lost necklace. Next, the weirdest feeling comes over me – joy. I’m thrilled my little girl is happy. I’m delighted that I could do that for her.

A mother need only step into the shower to be instantly reassured she is indispensable to every member of her family. Lynne Williams

Seven and a half years into this mom thing, it still amazes me how motherhood is a duality of experiences. I’m frequently bemused by the irrationality of what my children claim to need. Yet, I find myself empathetic. Big feelings in a little body can be overwhelming and I imagine that must suck.

Yes, motherhood is being left empty after an emotion filled evening getting them fed and to bed. But after the glass of wine, or the slice of cake, or simply a few minutes to yourself in silence, your cup starts to slowly fill up and gratitude beings to replaces frustration.

Oh, the consequences of pregnancy and the duality of motherhood. Managing their big emotions as we serve as the landfill for all emotions. Happy or sad, sleepy or excited, hungry or full, frustrated, annoyed, and impatient; mothering is absorbing the brunt of these emotions and the experiences that result from them. What’s the secret to managing all of this? Emotional regulation. A fancy way of saying, don’t let their emotions control your emotions, reactions or responses. It means you can’t control them, so stay in control of yourself.

Back to the bathroom. . . My daughter hops away. I’m annoyed and joyful. I finish getting dressed and return to my duo until it’s time to leave. They pepper me with questions about my departure. I start to stand up to leave and then, the best part happens – two sets of arms wrap around me like I’m headed to Bulgaria with big wet kisses on my cheeks. I walk out and now I’m the happy one, exuding delight and joy.

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Tiffany Harris
Tiffany is a bit of a wanderlust starting from her early years. She is the daughter of an Army veteran and was born in Georgia and has lived in Okinawa, Japan, Monterey, California, Dayton, Ohio and then spent the majority of her formative years growing up in Canton, Ohio where her parents were born and raised. For the last eleven years she has called Houston home. She's had some of her most transformative events happen here - her wedding and the birth of her twins. Over the years, even with children, she's continued to enjoy the friendly skies. She owes much of her traveling in the last ten years to visiting her younger sister who has lived in Okinawa, Japan, Colorado Springs, Colorado, Monterey, California, Muscat, Oman, and Cairo, Egypt. In her daily life, she is busy with her now five-year old twins {a boy and a girl} enjoying time with her engineer husband and spending time with friends. Tiffany is a fan of low-key spots in the city where she can enjoy a great cocktail or glass of wine.

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