“Where did the time go?” I ask myself on a weekly basis. We’re nearing year ten with our duo and wow, that time went fast! I’m teetering on the tween years and I’m deep in the days of big emotions, ideas, and wants. Their complex personalities keep me on my toes as I see them navigate friendships, expectations, and decisions. I’m doing my best to serve in the role of boundary-setter, guide, mentor, and supportive parent as some lessons are learned through experience. I also sit in the space of gratitude – for the community we’ve developed, the experiences we’ve had, and how I’ve grown as a woman. But there is a quiet part I rarely say out loud.
The consequences of pregnancy is that I love, I mean absolutely L-O-V-E being a mom. The quiet part out loud – I’m a better person because I am a mom. There, I said it. I know some of us wish for the yester-years of our freedom and ability to not be tethered to these unregulated, irrational, and impatient human beings that we love beyond our hearts. However, my level of bravery, clarity, and joy doesn’t happen without motherhood. I feel mission driven in motherhood. I am anchored in motherhood. I am the person I believed I could be because two people call me ‘Mom.’
“You just wait until they’re teenagers.” some are saying as they are reading this. Yet, I’m not dreading the teenage years. Maybe their exploding hormones will offset my declining hormones, and we can balance each other out {I hope you chuckle or outright laugh at this}. If I am dreading the teenage years, it’s because of the quiet pull that happens during this time. This is the quiet part out loud that I suspect I will struggle with. This period where they will pull away and I will want to pull them in closer. I will hear this silent tick-tock of time slipping past me as this scary and unpredictable world with consequences known and unknown closes in our doorstep, ready to whisk my duo away.
The consequences of pregnancy is that motherhood introduced me to a Tiffany that I didn’t know I could be. Before kids, I didn’t always know how to ask for what I wanted. Now, I ask AND I fully expect to get it. I’m grounded as a mom in what’s important. There was a time when a bad day could ruin an entire week. Today, a bad day could disrupt a couple of hours. After that, it’s back to the business of mothering. My kids won’t care about my bad day. They care that I’m listening to their stories, concerns, and wants and needs.
At this stage of motherhood, nearly ten years in, the consequences of pregnancy is that the title of ‘Mom’ isn’t a singular description only associated with my duo. It describes who I am as a wife, friend and employee. Motherhood is revolutionary and purpose-driven. The quiet part out loud – motherhood best describes how I unapologetically show up show up for myself and others.
