No one truly prepares you for parenthood. For the past 19 years, I have poured my heart and soul into raising my child and providing shelter, food, clothes, and everything else a parent should. But nothing prepared me for the heartbreak of watching my child struggle with addiction.
Our journey took a turn during their senior year of high school. Due to a hurricane, we were forced to move to a new state, leaving behind their school, friends, and everything familiar. It was a difficult transition, but they eventually found new friends. Unfortunately, those friends introduced them to drugs.
It started with marijuana. Some argue that marijuana isn’t a drug, but for an adolescent brain, it can be dangerous. It can become a gateway to something more harmful. The use started slowly, but soon, it became more frequent. We fought it. We tried to stop it. We spoke to their school, but there was little they could do. We couldn’t understand how they accessed it since they had no money, but they always did somehow.
Despite the struggles, they graduated high school. But soon after, their addiction escalated, and they had several episodes that led them to an outpatient rehab program. They needed inpatient care, but since they weren’t deemed a danger to themself, they were only admitted to outpatient treatment. They completed the program and were released, appearing to do well.
They had initially planned to go away for college but decided to stay home instead. We
supported their choice, thinking it was for the best while we figured things out. They enrolled in a junior college, but transportation became an issue because it wasn’t close to home. We provided Ubers for them, but over time, we realized they weren’t attending classes regularly. By the second semester, they dropped out without telling us.
We insisted they get a job that summer, but that was a battle. Every conversation about
responsibility turned into a fight. Then, they started staying out, disappearing for days at a time.
Drug tests confirmed our fears it was more than just marijuana now. With three younger children in our home, balancing parenting them and their siblings became overwhelming.
Eventually, they moved out with their partner. It was painful, but in a way, it brought peace to our home. We remained in contact, and one condition of keeping their phone was that I had access to their location. For a while, things seemed stable, lasting a few months.
Then, a month ago, I received a call from their partner. “You need to pick them up,” they said.
My child had started using heavier drugs and mixing substances, and things had spiraled. We rushed to get them, but it wasn’t easy. They resisted, but we got them home, setting new rules and boundaries. Yet, no matter what we did, it was a constant struggle.
Some may say, “Just put them out.” But how do you abandon your child? That’s my baby.
Then, this past Thursday, our worst nightmare happened. We found them upstairs in the
bedroom, incoherent. They had overdosed in our 11-year-old’s room. The sheer terror of that moment is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
We rushed them to the hospital, where they detoxed. The doctors and nurses were
compassionate, and after assessing their condition, they decided they needed to be transferred to a behavioral health center for treatment. Since they are 19, their stay had to be court-ordered, meaning the judge had to sign papers saying this was an involuntary stay. This is so they would not check themselves out of the hospital. Although I know what facility they were transferred to, and I can no longer access their medical information. I can’t call them. I can’t visit them. They have to reach out to me.
I share this story not for sympathy but to raise awareness. Drug addiction is real, and it doesn’t discriminate. Marijuana may seem harmless to some, but for developing minds, it can be the start of something far worse. Too many parents overlook early warning signs, thinking, “It’s just weed.” But in some cases, “just weed” becomes something far more dangerous. For us, it led to pills, cough syrups, alcohol and inhalants.
Please talk to your children and their friends about addiction. Ask them what they see, what they’re doing, and what they’re putting into their bodies. Be present, be vigilant, and never assume that it won’t happen to you.
Because I never thought it would happen to me. But it did.
