As mothers, we try to encourage our children to follow their dreams and interests. We are all about them trying new things. They say they want to be dancers, so we sign them up for dance classes. They fall in love with soccer, so we enroll them in soccer club. They take a liking to computers, so we research local coding classes. They love to draw, so we buy them sketchbooks and fancy colored pencils. We tell our children to dream big, to love themselves exactly how they are, and that they can be anything they want to be.
I’m here to ask the question:: why do we not afford ourselves that same courtesy? Why does adulting mean we have to stop dreaming, trying new things, and loving ourselves?
I hear so many friends, family and colleagues say, “I’ve always wanted to try ______”. The word they fill in the blank with varies vastly from things like sky diving, to knitting, to eating scallops.
Why do we just talk about the things we want to try? What is keeping us from taking a knitting class, or going sky diving or…gasp…looking up a scallop recipe and going to the grocery store and buying some scallops?
What is Standing in Your Way of Trying New Things?
I have a secret. I found out what is standing in your way of trying that new thing or dreaming really big.
I figured it out. It’s going to shock you.
Are you sitting down?
It’s you.
You are the only thing standing in the way. Sure we can all make excuses, time and money are the most common ones. But when it all boils down the only thing keeping you from trying something new, loving yourself, or dreaming, is you.
Life is Short. Start Living
In February 2017 our house burned down. We lost everything, including our dog. We’ve learned a lot in the last four years, but the one thing that has heavily resonated with us is life is a gift and we don’t know how long we have.
My husband was asleep in the house. To this day, firefighters do not know how he is alive. Life is short, friends. It’s time to start living.
So what now? How do you take the leap? How do you go from simply existing to really living? How do you get out of your own way? How do you start really loving yourself?
Steps to Start Living and Not Just Existing
Write it down.
Make a list of all the things you’ve ever wanted to try. Put it all in there, big things and little things; knitting, skydiving, scallops and more. Leave nothing out and let the list be fluid. Put it in a place you can add to it {and mark things off as you try them}.
Set a goal.
I have a dear friend who uses her birthday as the marker for trying something new. As a gift to herself every year, she tries a new thing. Do that if it works for you. This concept is adjacent to a fabulous practice called habit stacking. Attaching a goal to something that you’re already used to doing, like your birthday in this example, helps you anchor your new goal to an existing trigger.
Research.
We have the great advantage of living in the 4th largest city in the country with loads of resources at our disposal. I guarantee you someone somewhere in the city of Houston is willing to help you learn that new thing.
Go do the thing.
The last step is simple. Go do the thing.
Two things I wanted to learn after the house fire was silver smithing {I wanted to do something productive with fire} and wood turning {I wanted to create something beautiful out of a destructive act}. Learning these new skills not only challenged me, but it also helped heal my brain and heart after such great tragedy.
The Magic of Trying New Things
When you start trying new things, something magical happens. You start to really truly believe that you can do anything. Even if you try a thing and you decide it’s not really for you, you gain the confidence to move on to something else. The world begins to feel a little more open and attainable. As you try new things it makes you feel good and proud and accomplished. An incredible byproduct of trying new things is your self love begins to grow. When you begin to love yourself your self confidence grows too.
Then, when you are trying new things, and dreaming and loving yourself and growing your confidence, you begin leading your children down this path, not just with your words, but with your example.
So, what are you trying next?
If you still need a little help, I’ve created a printable PDF worksheet to help you get started. Print off more than one if you like. Write the things down, set a goal, research, and do the thing. 
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