Pregnancy is already a stressful time. Fatigue {and its bestie, insomnia}, physical discomfort, migraines, the constant need to pee. The physical and mental energy alone for a “normal” pregnancy often feels like a full time job. Upgrade that to a high risk pregnancy, and what seemed difficult but doable, might now seem overwhelming and impossible.

I’m 25 weeks in to my 4th pregnancy, and my recent anatomy scan qualified me for a high risk upgrade.

My previous pregnancies have had their issues, but none that I felt like were actually concerning for me or my baby. Or at least, none that I felt like I couldn’t control the outcome of with following the proper instructions. In my current situation, I can’t really control much of anything. And man, does it suck. My personality is pretty “go with the flow”, and I don’t stress about most things, but that attitude does not extend to the health of me and my child. I am a Catholic woman, and I do believe that God is in control, and He wills everything for my ultimate good. However, it bears repeating. Man, does it suck.

Naturally, I spent the first week after my scan furiously googling and reading up on my situation {0/10, do not recommend}. After reading enough posts on scary outcomes, I turned off my phone and realized that if I was going to make it through the remainder of my high risk pregnancy without having a mental breakdown, I needed to put some firm boundaries in place to protect my mental health. Some of these ideas are general good self care practices, and some are specific to me and my personality. If you are going through a high risk pregnancy, or even just having a hard time with a completely normal pregnancy {which is a valid experience}, I hope some of these ideas help you to take care of your physical and mental health.

Self Care During a High Risk Pregnancy

Note: I am not a medical professional of any kind. These are non-medical self care practices that have helped me. Please follow your medical provider’s instructions, or consult with them if you have any questions about your pregnancy.

First…

Acknowledge What I Can Control

As I mentioned, there’s not much about my situation I can change or control. However, there are a couple of things I can control, which in turn, give me a *tiny* sense of being in the driver’s seat during this high risk pregnancy.

Diet

Part of my risk includes the possibility of growth restriction for the baby, especially in the 3rd trimester. While I can’t ensure that won’t happen, I can make sure I am eating enough food, as well as the right kinds of food, to help ensure the baby is getting the nutrients they need. I spent a lot of time preconception learning about the nutrients babies need to thrive during pregnancy. This may seem strange, since it’s my 4th baby, but I wanted to prepare a little differently this time, as I’m an older mom now. I’ve learned a ton from Real Food for Pregnancy by Lily Nichols RDN. Her work is simple, clear, and most importantly, evidence based {this book has over 930 citations in it}. I used her suggestions about 6 months prior to conceiving, and was able to correct a hormone issue I’ve experienced with my previous pregnancies. While I don’t have the capacity to implement all of her recommendations, I feel empowered just knowing more about what my body needs, nutrition-wise, to help maintain a healthy high risk pregnancy.

Movement

Exercise, if you’ve been cleared by your doctor to do so, is important to help with the physical changes happening to your body, as well as support your cardiovascular system, which is working overtime to pump an increased blood supply for you and your baby. Exercise also helps with my mindset, especially if it’s outside. Again, this is a thing I can control! Thankfully, I currently don’t have many restrictions on exercise and movement. I haven’t exercised much since my first trimester, so it is my goal, as my 3rd approaches, to change that. Walking is my favorite form of movement right now {gentle, outside, multi-sensory experience}, so I plan to walk every day, even if it’s just for 20 minutes. Bonus points for solo walks, but I will also accept walking at a toddler’s pace. If you have exercise restrictions, check with your doctor about alternative ways to move, like prenatal yoga or even just gentle stretching.

Second…

Acknowledge the Limits to My Control

…and find some healthy coping mechanisms.

Prayer

I know I’m not in control of my life, and yet, it is always a surprise when God humbles me with a situation about which I can do absolutely nothing. When that happens, I find that I can’t focus on formal prayers or reading Scripture studies or sometimes, even Sunday Mass. So right now, my actual prayer life looks a lot like saying a “Jesus I trust in You” when I’m overwhelmed {so, about 100 times a day}. It gives me peace, even for just a moment, to offer up that bit of surrender. And it allows me to remember that God sees me in my suffering, and though He may not change it, He is walking alongside me.  If prayer is not your thing, try a meditation app or deep breathing exercises. Journaling is also a great way to recognize and honor your feelings during stressful seasons.

Limit Social Media

As I said above, I do not recommend going down the google rabbit hole to read about any and all outcomes for your situation. Zero stars. After following up my anatomy scan with my OB, I haven’t had much of a problem staying away from random internet searches. But then I would be scrolling Instagram and laughing at a delightful Bridgerton reel, when BAM, the algorithm would feed me a reel about a high risk pregnancy or something else that was terrible. So I decided to delete my socials off my phone. I can’t handle content that preys on my fears. I’m leaving the option to check it on the computer, because my memes/reels chats with my husband and best friend do spark joy. If that’s you too, I urge you to take a break, even for a short time.

Reading

I love to read almost anything. I will happily ignore any and all of my responsibilities to devour a good book. However, when my mind is fractured with anxiety, it struggles to read. I kept starting new books, ones labeled as “comfort reads” or ones that said “this book will absolutely transport you to a new world!” And I just couldn’t get into them. However, Well, as it turns out, my anxious brain wants romance novels, almost exclusively. Give me happily-ever-afters. Give me fun, witty banter. Give me all the city girls falling for small town boys. Give me all the tropes! Fake dating, enemies to lovers, only one bed, brother’s best friend. I’m here for it all! I recently read Abby Jiminez’s entire backlist, and it did not disappoint. If you need some romance inspiration, check out this list for some ideas. Or if romance is not your thing, get lost with some of the books from this autumn inspired list!

Do you have any tips for coping with and taking care of your self during a high risk pregnancy?