Lent is a forty-day period dedicated to fasting, prayer, and repentance. During the weeks preceding Easter, Christians fast from indulgences and focus on spiritual disciplines to bring deeper intimacy with God.
I have celebrated Lent all my life, with varying degrees of success. During high school, I often cut out chocolate, dessert, or soda. If I am honest, Lent functioned more as a diet than a religious sacrifice. As I got older, I decided to fast from time-consuming activities to pray instead. I gave up listening to music in the car, television, and social media. One memorable year I sacrificed elevators. Climbing stairs to every meeting and class prompted a lot of prayer. I figured God didn’t mind that I sounded horribly out of breath.
This year I am struggling to choose a theme for Lent. Motherhood feels like one long Lenten season. I regularly sacrifice sleep, privacy, and sanity for my sweet daughter. My days are filled with diaper changes, food spills, and endless rereads of Llama Llama Red Pajama. I can’t get solitude to go to the restroom, much less spend an hour in quiet meditation. I am discouraged about our political climate and stressed about finances. At this point, asking me to give up chocolate feels like cruel and unusual punishment. Music in the car remains one of my final pillars of sanity. What do I give God when I feel I have nothing left? What does God require of the weary?
While spiritual disciplines such as fasting, silence, and solitude are good choices for many, there is no one-size-fits-all recommendation for Lent. Jesus commands his disciples to take up their cross and follow him (Matthew 16:24), but he also promises rest for the weary and burdened (Matthew 11:28). God meets us where we are, not where we feel we should be. For those of us in a season of sacrifice or loss, additional penance or self-denial can be counterproductive. The purpose of Lent is to grow our intimacy with God. If that means sacrificing pleasures, go for it, but there is no shame in taking a rest year if the rest draws you closer to Christ.
I won’t be sacrificing anything for Lent this year. My goal for this time is to feel God’s presence in my current work. Jesus tells his disciples that whatever we do for the least of these, we do for him. By caring for others, we care for Christ himself. This includes the work we do for our children. Every diaper change, temper tantrum, and doctor’s appointment, we are serving God. Instead of trying to prove my dedication, I will choose his rest.
This season of motherhood won’t last forever. Eventually, my young daughter will go to school. She will play sports and do homework. She will retreat to her room in teenage angst. She will drive her car to meet much cooler friends. My sacrifices will continue, but they’ll look different. Our relationship will change and develop. I might have the capacity to give up something next year, or maybe not. Regardless, I know that just as I delight in this stage with my daughter, God is delighting in me. We will walk through this season together and every one to come.
