Let’s be honest—toddlers and teens get a bad rap. We swap war stories about tantrums and eye rolls, about slammed doors and power struggles, and we nod along because, yes, it is a lot. But here’s the secret I’ve learned as a mom of both: these two stages are actually incredible.
Exhausting? Absolutely. But also breathtaking, funny, and wildly rewarding.
Let me back up. When my daughter was two, she had a toy stroller that she loved to push around. Having not yet covered Newtonian physics, when she reached the end of a room and hit a wall, she would repeatedly and forcefully slam her stroller into the wall to try to move it while yelling “aaaaggghhhh!” at the top of her toddler lung capacity. Awesome? No. Developmentally appropriate? Yes.
Both toddlers and teens are deep in the trenches of transformation. One is moving from baby to kid; the other, from kid to almost-adult. They’re both figuring out who they are, what they like, and how they fit into the world. And that means—sorry—conflict is part of the job description.
Every toddler parent knows that if they want to put their own shoes on, they will put their own shoes on. Even if you’re ten minutes late, the car is running, and traffic is already a nightmare. It’s not just stubbornness—it’s science. They need to do it. It’s how they learn independence and confidence, one painfully slow Velcro strap at a time.
Having a toddler is watching this shift happen in real time. You get a front-row seat to their personalities bursting onto the scene. My daughter—fierce, fiery, and loyal to the core. My son—quiet strength wrapped around a tender heart. Toddlerhood, for all its chaos, was the moment I really met them.
And now, here we go again. My daughter turned 13 this summer, and we’ve officially entered the Teenage Zone—the stage every parent warns you about. There’s angst, hormones, a healthy dose of “You don’t get it, Mom,” and the occasional door slam for emphasis. (Yes, I may or may not have recently recorded one of those dramatic exits to send my husband and also to maybe play at her future wedding.)
But here’s the thing: I see it happening again—the transformation. She’s stepping out of childhood and into herself. She’s taking responsibility, dreaming big, navigating the impossible maze of middle school friendships, and eyeing high school with a mix of terror and excitement. The dolls are packed away (but not donated yet—we’re not that big), and the conversations are deeper, rawer, more real.
It’s messy, it’s loud, and sometimes it hurts—but it’s also extraordinary. Watching your child become who they are meant to be—twice in one lifetime—is the greatest privilege I know.
So to all the moms out there in the trenches of toddler tantrums or teenage mood swings: I see you. It’s hard, but amazing work. We get a front-row seat to the making of a person, and honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
And as I look down the road toward driver’s licenses, college, and whatever comes next, I’m holding my tiny teen just a little bit tighter (when she’ll let me).
Here’s to toddlers and teens—the wild, beautiful, in-between years that make motherhood what it is. Don’t fear these stages, mama. Embrace them. Because you will finally meet the human you helped to shape.
