There is something about a group of women sitting around a table, sharing a conversation, and being with women who just get it. Have you ever sat at girls’ night dinner and taken the time to reflect on the meaning of that moment? So many times to even get to that moment required incredible planning: coordinating schedules, planning a babysitter, making reservations, completing our daily tasks, and sometimes it is just getting the idea out of the group chat. Those few hours become so incredibly valuable reflecting, learning, and getting the support that is needed. The laughter, clink of glasses, and the shared stories of friendship remind us we aren’t alone.
Seasons of Friendship
In childhood, friendship seems easy. Often class groupings, sports teams, and activities shape who we are friends with. Do you remember your best friend from elementary school? The one you wrote notes with, sat at lunch with, and maybe even had your first sleepover with. That friendship was probably built on writing notes, doodling, gossiping, talking about a first crush, and reading baby-sitters club books.
At some point between being a kid and having kids, friendship changes.
In adulthood, friendships can be messy, hard, and sometimes feel time consuming. As mothers, wives, and women, we are emotionally consumed by our daily activities, to-do lists, being an Uber driver, and a short-order cook while trying to find time for ourselves. This means that finding and maintaining friendships is not a priority. However, as women we need the connection of other women in our lives to lift us up and give us positive encouragement.
Present and Real
Are you lucky enough to have a solid group of women friends or one best friend that you rely on? If so, let’s talk about maintaining those friendships. Have you opened your calendar and joked, “I will see you next summer?” It is so hard to carve out time to make friendships a priority. There are times I look down at my phone and get overwhelmed. Even texting can be difficult. I know in my own life I either text at 5am or 10pm or only in my brain. Even with instantaneous communication, friendships still require intentional communication.
Being vulnerable with your friends will allow them to see all the sides of you. It can be really difficult to open up and not keep the facade of a perfect life. In the case of my best friend, she texted me seven months pregnant with three kids at home and said “I need a friend.” I flew to Arizona to walk into a kitchen full of dishes, a mountain of laundry, and kids that were desperate for someone to entertain them. There were some tears and hugs, and then we literally got to work. We cleaned, meal prepped, ordered groceries, and took the kids on an adventure all while sharing time together. That time together created a lasting bond to an already important friendship.
Women aren’t perfect. We don’t always have the same parenting styles, friendship, love languages, or free time, but regardless a friend is a friend. Sometimes it is a friend who offers to sit outside, wine in hand, and just listens. Or the friend who offers to bring your kid to practice, because you need a five minute break to take a shower. Women can do a lot more together, especially when we work together and build each other up.
Maybe the challenge isn’t maintaining friendships, but is coming to the understanding that friendship doesn’t have to be perfect but instead just being present, real, and vulnerable.
Connected in the Calendar Year
As we get older, the days, months, and years seem to go faster. Children grow, change activities, and continue to keep our days full. With an 11 year old in my house, I hear YouTube and Taylor Swift all day, every day. I often wonder how I got here and miss the toddler squeals and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Through all seasons of the year and life, do you have trouble staying connected? Open your planner, make time for those friendships just like you would your child’s practice. Schedule a time to send “thinking of you” texts, start a new tradition, plan a coffee date or a book club. Move those dinner dates out of the group chats! Focus on your friend’s needs and celebrations: listen to their successes or struggles and send them their favorite song! Who doesn’t love some Backstreet Boys or ‘N Sync?
Maybe it isn’t the time, but the use of time. Create an intentional plan to connect women in your life.
Thankful, Grateful, and Friendsgiving
Talking about the calendar year. How did we get to November? I am pretty sure we were just ringing in the 2025 New Year. During this month, the focus becomes on families, holidays, and sometimes basic survival as life becomes even more hectic.
During this upcoming Thanksgiving season, be grateful for your family and loved ones, but also think about and foster those friendships. This is your sign to plan that Friendsgiving that doesn’t have to be perfect. Maybe it is pjs and a Hallmark movie after the kids go to bed or a cup of coffee and dessert at a coffee shop. Maybe a good cry over a glass of wine, a hug in a parking lot, or a quick dinner out. If you have it in you to plan a meal with a theme and decorations, then you should totally do it. What will fill your cup? Friendsgiving isn’t about the food, it is about filling your cup with love, laughter, and joy.
Who can you send a text to today? Tell them you appreciate them, love them, and invite them over! After all, the most meaningful interactions start with a simple conversation.
Amazing article. Resonated with all of it. Thank you!