Using Core Values to Guide Your Life

 

image of an open blank journal, a compass and magnifying glass on a map

When my kiddos first started going to school, we were in the thick of the uncertainty of COVID and I was working full-time in health care.

It was a HARD time on top of what was already going to be a difficult transition of figuring out new routines, schedules and logistics, and I found myself burning out hard trying to be all the things to all the people all the time.

Since then, I’ve been on a journey to find balance, clarity and peace and in the process I stumbled on the notion of using core values to guide me toward intentional alignment in all I do.

So what even is a core value? And how do you figure out what yours are?

Well, the technical definition is that a core value is a deeply held principle or belief that helps drive the actions and decisions of an individual or entity.

Brene Brown offers a lengthy list of examples of core values in her resources from her Dare to Lead program. On the list are numerous options ranging from things like accountability and gratitude to growth, responsibility, and success.

For optimal results, Brown urges individuals to take the list and whittle it down until you land on just two core values—a undertaking that may seem impossible at first glance.

The intense discretion needed to land on just TWO core values from a list of dozens is completely intentional, though, because to complete the task one must do lots of self-reflection into what truly drives his or her actions.

For me, I landed on curiosity and connection because I’ve always been a proponent of building meaningful relationships with those around me through understanding and lifelong learning.

Is this to say there’s not more to who I am or that I don’t care about the other things on the list? Absolutely not. But of all the other things I find important and value like love, family, friendships, health, and harmony, I can always find curiosity and connection at the base of it all.

Results will of course vary from person to person because we all have different driving forces propelling us throughout our lives, so know that there’s truthfully no right or wrong answer as long as you’re being true to and honest with yourself about what’s most important to you.

So why even put all of this effort into this practice in the first place? Well for me it was a way to prioritize what’s worthy of my time and attention. We all have NO SHORTAGE of things to do and the list somehow always finds a way to continue to grow. So this was my way of getting a handle on that.

When I find myself with competing priorities, I pause and ask myself what will best fuel and support my values and then I go from there.

Now is this a magic solution that alleviates all stress and worry and overwhelm from my life all the time? Absolutely not, but it has helped me become more intentional with what I do and when, and it’s given me a level of clarity and conviction I’m not sure I could have found otherwise.

James Clear and Jay Shetty are two others who also touch on the notion of core values and offer their own takes on how people can define theirs. While some of the specifics differ from Brown’s process and theory, the big picture and end goal remains to encourage people to pause and think about why they do what they do and how they determine what’s most important in this world of ever-competing priorities.

So if you find yourself grappling with how to prioritize your days and stay afloat amongst all the to-do lists and tasks that come with parenting and life in general, take some time to determine what your core values are and then do all you can to use them as a guiding light. Honor your values. You deserve it.

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Jessica Wyble
A lover of people and the stories and lessons they carry with them, Jessica is a Houston native who is tirelessly passionate about this city, her family and the outdoors. A full-time working mom to two amazing kiddos, Jessica’s married to her second-grade crush and is guilty of wearing her heart on her sleeve more often than not. Ever-curious, she’s an extroverted introvert who lives for live music, spending time in nature, learning new things and getting a good sweat on through strength training, yoga, pilates or dancing. Really, she’s down for anything active – and finds it HARD to sit still or sleep in. A LOUD, open book, she’s leaning ALL THE WAY into the messy journey of motherhood—embracing all the opportunities to learn and grow along the way. Follow her journey on Instagram @mommingoutloud.

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